2 Samuel 12:11-12

11 Thus saith the LORD, Behold, I will raise up evil against thee out of thine own house, and I will take thy wives before thine eyes, and give them unto thy neighbour, and he shall lie with thy wives in the sight of this sun.
12 For thou didst it secretly: but I will do this thing before all Israel, and before the sun.

When you read all of the Second Book of Samuel, chapter 12, you see that this is part of a story. David has killed Uriah and taken his wife. Yahweh doesn’t approve, so he’s going to punish David by having his wives raped by his neighbors. This is not only immoral, it is also obscene.

What did these women do to deserve being raped? Is Yahweh in the habit of punishing people who did nothing against him just to prove his point to another? Actually, the idea that Yahweh punishes uninvolved people is present throughout the King James Bible. It appears as if Yahweh were auditioning for the role of Satan.

1 Samuel 18:27

27 Wherefore David arose and went, he and his men, and slew of the Philistines two hundred men; and David brought their foreskins, and they gave them in full tale to the king, that he might be the king’s son in law. And Saul gave him Michal his daughter to wife.

Upon reading the entirety of the First Book of Samuel, chapter 18, we see that this is part of a story. It is essentially all explained in this single verse. Saul wanted David to die, so he gave him the task of getting one hundred philistine foreskins. David not only survived, he over-delivered by bringing back two hundred foreskins.

None of this was commanded by Yahweh, so it does not point to his immorality. However, David was said to have Yahweh’s favor, which he did not lose through this act. The point of the story is that this is just plain disgusting. Offering any body parts as payment for the privilege of marrying a man’s daughter is obscene in it’s own right. Requiring that this body part be the severed skin from the tip of a man’s phallus is that much more obscene. This is not a verse you hear in church, and it certainly isn’t something you tell children in Sunday school.