Genesis 2:16-17

16 And the LORD God commanded the man, saying, Of every tree of the garden thou mayest freely eat:

17 But of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, thou shalt not eat of it: for in the day that thou eatest thereof thou shalt surely die.

Genesis 3:2-7

2 And the woman said unto the serpent, We may eat of the fruit of the trees of the garden:

3 But of the fruit of the tree which is in the midst of the garden, God hath said, Ye shall not eat of it, neither shall ye touch it, lest ye die.

4 And the serpent said unto the woman, Ye shall not surely die:

5 For God doth know that in the day ye eat thereof, then your eyes shall be opened, and ye shall be as gods, knowing good and evil.

6 And when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was pleasant to the eyes, and a tree to be desired to make one wise, she took of the fruit thereof, and did eat, and gave also unto her husband with her; and he did eat.

7 And the eyes of them both were opened, and they knew that they were naked; and they sewed fig leaves together, and made themselves aprons.

In Genesis 2, God clearly states that Adam and Eve will surely die after they eat the fruit, but they actually continue to live after doing so. In serpent form, the Devil informs them that they will know the difference between good and evil, which they do. It’s not like they were immortal before and then had their immortality taken away. In Genesis 3, God himself says that they have become “one of us,” so the serpent really did tell the truth when he said that Adam and Eve “shall be as gods” once they knew good and evil. Unfortunately, God kicks Adam and Eve out of the garden so that they cannot eat from the tree of life and live forever.

Some have suggested that they experienced a spiritual death. If that is true, then why doesn’t God say so? Instead of doing that, he rattles off various punishments that they will endure. The snake eats dust while women hate him. Eve gets painful childbirth and submission to men. Adam must work the cursed land to get his food. God doesn’t say anything about any death, spiritual or otherwise. Christians may deny this and make rationalizations all they want, but the textual evidence shows that God lied and the Devil told the truth.

The story itself is unfair. Adam and Eve didn’t understand the difference between good and evil before eating the fruit. They didn’t know that it was bad to go against God before they did this, so he is essentially punishing them for something that they didn’t have the capacity to fully comprehend. God shouldn’t have placed the tree there to begin with, because they would have had free will without it.

If no one was supposed to eat from it, why not root it up? Why leave it there to tempt the first two humans? In addition, why does God want to prevent Adam and Eve from gaining knowledge? Faith, belief without evidence, is what he places the most value on. If he exists and is omniscient, then he placed the tree there because he knew that the first two humans would eat from it. He wanted them to blindly follow him rather than to learn anything. When Adam and Eve ate from the tree out of ignorance, he cursed them and their descendants for all eternity. That is evil and deceitful, and his punishments are extreme and cruel. This is not a good god.

The only logical conclusion to come to is that both sides of the Christian pantheon are imaginary. Gods, devils, angels, demons, Heaven, Hell, the afterlife, and even the supernatural, everlasting soul are all notions that stem purely from the human imagination. Christianity is but mythology and superstition that hardens our hearts and enslaves our minds.

2 Timothy 3:16-17

16 All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness:

17 That the man of God may be perfect, thoroughly furnished unto all good works.

According to 2 Timothy 3, all scripture is inspired by God and illustrates how he believes we should live a good, moral life. These verses are often used to encourage others to read the King James Bible, which The Devil’s Highlighter completely supports.

By using the term scripture, Paul could be referring to the Old Testament specifically or perhaps to the entirety of the King James Bible. Either way, all scripture can be used to determine what is right from what is wrong. This includes the support of rape, slavery, and genocide that are not only condoned but requested or even performed by God on several occasions. These verses lay the blame directly on God for all of the atrocities in the King James Bible.

Matthew 5:17-20

17 Think not that I am come to destroy the law, or the prophets: I am not come to destroy, but to fulfil.

18 For verily I say unto you, Till heaven and earth pass, one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass from the law, till all be fulfilled.

19 Whosoever therefore shall break one of these least commandments, and shall teach men so, he shall be called the least in the kingdom of heaven: but whosoever shall do and teach them, the same shall be called great in the kingdom of heaven.

20 For I say unto you, That except your righteousness shall exceed the righteousness of the scribes and Pharisees, ye shall in no case enter into the kingdom of heaven.

In Matthew 5, Jesus says that he did not come to abolish the Old Law. This means that all of the laws proposed by the Old Testament should indeed be followed by those who follow him. There is no indication anywhere in the King James Bible that suggests that Jesus freed anyone from any part of the Law, with the notable exception that he was supposed to be the last sacrifice.

In effect, beyond the necessity to sacrifice animals to God in atonement for sins, all of the laws of the Old Testament must be obeyed. This is an important point, as many Christians will say that they are not bound by the Old Law because of Jesus. It seems that those that use such logic have not properly read the King James Bible.

1 Kings 20:35-37

35 And a certain man of the sons of the prophets said unto his neighbour in the word of the LORD, Smite me, I pray thee. And the man refused to smite him.

36 Then said he unto him, Because thou hast not obeyed the voice of the LORD, behold, as soon as thou art departed from me, a lion shall slay thee. And as soon as he was departed from him, a lion found him, and slew him.

37 Then he found another man, and said, Smite me, I pray thee. And the man smote him, so that in smiting he wounded him.

In 1 Kings 20, a prophet orders his neighbor to hurt him. Apparently, it was a bad idea for his neighbor to refrain from fulfilling his masochistic wishes, because the prophet got a lion to slay him. Then, he found another person who did obey the prophet and hurt him.

The act of someone ordering another to harm one’s self, as well as to threaten death when the order isn’t carried out, is absolutely hilarious. Most of all, it is immoral. In this instance, the nice guy is the one who is punished. Why is it that the person who refuses to harm his neighbor is the one who is devoured by a lion? It doesn’t make any sense.

2 Kings 2:23-25

23 And he went up from thence unto Bethel: and as he was going up by the way, there came forth little children out of the city, and mocked him, and said unto him, Go up, thou bald head; go up, thou bald head.

24 And he turned back, and looked on them, and cursed them in the name of the LORD. And there came forth two she bears out of the wood, and tare forty and two children of them.

25 And he went from thence to mount Carmel, and from thence he returned to Samaria.

In 2 Kings 2, Elisha, a former disciple of Elijah, is simply walking along when a group of children begin poking fun at his bald head. There are quite a number of different ways that he could deal with this scenario. He could simply ignore the peanut gallery and continue merrily on his way, he could laugh with the kids and make a few friends in the process, or he could have them all maimed and slaughtered by wild animals. Being a good and saintly fellow, Elisha decided on the most righteous of choices, the mauling.

Apparently, Elisha felt that it would be appropriate to utilize his rancor and call upon God, who then summoned a couple of female bears to tear them limb from limb. That’s a lovely little tale. With inspiring stories such as these, I can see why people call this the Good Book.

Matthew 5:22

22 But I say unto you, That whosoever is angry with his brother without a cause shall be in danger of the judgment: and whosoever shall say to his brother, Raca, shall be in danger of the council: but whosoever shall say, Thou fool, shall be in danger of hell fire.

In Matthew 5, Jesus says that anyone who calls another a fool is in danger of going to Hell. Despite this, Jesus calls people fools in Matthew 23, putting himself in danger of the very Hell fire he warned us about in.

Matthew 23:17

17 Ye fools and blind: for whether is greater, the gold, or the temple that sanctifieth the gold?

Furthermore, God also calls people fools in Luke 12.

Luke 12:20

20 But God said unto him, Thou fool, this night thy soul shall be required of thee: then whose shall those things be, which thou hast provided?

Both the father and the son have placed themselves in danger of going to Hell. That, or the son lied when he claimed that calling another a fool had this effect. Either way, this proves that Jesus was not without sin.

One might be able to make the claim that the danger of Hell isn’t the same as actually going to Hell. Perhaps Jesus was merely warning against behavior that might lead to rancor. Either way, I can’t think of anyone more deserving of eternal damnation than the guy who invented it.

Jeremiah 10:1-4

1 Hear ye the word which the LORD speaketh unto you, O house of Israel:

2 Thus saith the LORD, Learn not the way of the heathen, and be not dismayed at the signs of heaven; for the heathen are dismayed at them.

3 For the customs of the people are vain: for one cutteth a tree out of the forest, the work of the hands of the workman, with the axe.

4 They deck it with silver and with gold; they fasten it with nails and with hammers, that it move not.

With all this holiday cheer going around, The Devil’s Highlighter decided to spread a little bit of humbug. Nothing could be better for spreading humbug than letting all those practicing Christians know that the tree they just put up is actually a pagan practice that was specifically forbidden in Jeremiah 10. What you see here is God specifically saying that we should not cut down trees to cover them with silver and gold. This was essentially considered to be idolatry. Why, we even lay gifts down before these idols every year to pay homage, not to God but consumerism!

The Christmas tree was originally adopted from pagan practices that were very similar. The King James Bible clearly says that we should not do this and that it is a worthless practice. We couldn’t agree more. Nothing says stress and hypocrisy like Merry Christmas!

In all fairness, this passage is specifically prohibiting the creation of wooden idols. This was not intended to specifically prohibit Christmas trees. However, it does resemble this practice very closely, and it could be easily argued that this passage also prohibits the decoration of the Christmas tree. While the tree is not specifically worshiped, it has been adopted as a symbol for the season. I can also guarantee that the children think more about what’s under that tree than who was supposedly born two millennia years ago. The Christmas tree is indeed idolatry, but don’t take my word for it. Read Jeremiah 10 to see for yourself.

Exodus 20:4-6

4 Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image, or any likeness of any thing that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth.

5 Thou shalt not bow down thyself to them, nor serve them: for I the LORD thy God am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children unto the third and fourth generation of them that hate me;

6 And shewing mercy unto thousands of them that love me, and keep my commandments.

I’m sure that you recognize the second commandment when you see it in Exodus 20. However, I don’t think many people know the full text of this commandment. Here, we are told that a graven image consists of any likeness made to appear like anything on, above, or beneath the earth and sea.

Additionally, it is also suggested that not only will you be punished, but your descendants will be punished up to four generations. That means that you could be punished by God for nothing more than the fact that your grandfather doodled a picture of an animal. If you have ever drawn a drawing, chiseled a sculpture, or folded a paper airplane, you have broken this commandment. Apparently, those who do so are also considered to be misotheists, theists who hate God. The offending artist and his or her descendants are punished for it.

It must be noted that there is a specific prescription not to bow down to these graven images. However, it is not part of the requirement for transgression. Note the language used: “Do not make a graven image or likeness” and “Do not bow down to them.” In other words, neither shall you make nor show reverence for graven images, because both actions are sinful.

Judges 1:19

19 And the LORD was with Judah; and he drave out the inhabitants of the mountain; but could not drive out the inhabitants of the valley, because they had chariots of iron.

In Judges 1, we find that there is a war. The Israelites are running around, killing all sorts of people, and taking their land.

God lends them aid by delivering these people into their hands. Well, not all of them. Apparently, he could not drive out one particular group, and it’s all because they had chariots of iron. It seems as if this all-powerful god actually does have a weakness, and it happens to be iron!

Iron, being the element that gives blood its color and odor, has long been associated with life and death, as well as the gods. It is often used to repel fairies, demons, witches, and evil spirits. It surprises me to find that it apparently also repels God, or at least renders him unable to shoo you away.

Can a god really be claimed to be all-powerful if he can’t even deal with a few iron chariots? How do you think he’d stand up to an armored tank?

Acts 5:1-10

1 But a certain man named Ananias, with Sapphira his wife, sold a possession,

2 And kept back part of the price, his wife also being privy to it, and brought a certain part, and laid it at the apostles’ feet.

3 But Peter said, Ananias, why hath Satan filled thine heart to lie to the Holy Ghost, and to keep back part of the price of the land?

4 Whiles it remained, was it not thine own? and after it was sold, was it not in thine own power? why hast thou conceived this thing in thine heart? thou hast not lied unto men, but unto God.

5 And Ananias hearing these words fell down, and gave up the ghost: and great fear came on all them that heard these things.

6 And the young men arose, wound him up, and carried him out, and buried him.

7 And it was about the space of three hours after, when his wife, not knowing what was done, came in.

8 And Peter answered unto her, Tell me whether ye sold the land for so much? And she said, Yea, for so much.

9 Then Peter said unto her, How is it that ye have agreed together to tempt the Spirit of the Lord? behold, the feet of them which have buried thy husband are at the door, and shall carry thee out.

10 Then fell she down straightway at his feet, and yielded up the ghost: and the young men came in, and found her dead, and, carrying her forth, buried her by her husband.

In Acts 4, we find that the early church is having their members sell everything they have and then give the resulting money to the church. The church would then provide for everyone while everyone has what they needed. In other words, they are communists.

A husband and wife decide to withhold a small portion of the money from the sale of their property so that they will have some for themselves on top of what the apostles allow them to have. For this, they are killed. It says that they simply die, giving up their ghost. Unless these people were so old that they simply had heart-attacks from the stress of being accused of being capitalists, it seems likely that either God or the apostles caused their deaths.

When you consider the fact that all deities are imaginary, you are left with the apostles being little more than cutthroat extorting communists who kill people who attempt to keep what they’ve earned for themselves. Any defense of scripture in this instance will also be a defense of communism, something that the religious right seems to always be fervently opposed to. Any way you slice it, the early church was a communist organization. Additionally, their socialist doctrine was so concrete that death seems to be what happens to capitalists within their ranks.